The Benji Karmis Website Experience

              I usually write my whole journal before I decide on the title, but today, it was the first thing I typed. I just got off from playing Helldivers 2 with one of my buddies from way back in the day in college. He's a good-ass dude, but with the military and stuff going on in both of our lives, I just haven’t been able to talk to him as much as I wish.               Thankfully, one thing that I particularly love about Helldivers is how great of a job it has done in reuniting me with old friends. It’s been an effortless medium to reconnect with so many mates that I haven’t touched base with in who knows how long. Video games can do that in general, but Helldivers, particularly, excels at it. The satisfying punch all the weapons have, the easy commitment of their half-an-hour-ish missions, and of course, the fanatically patriotic setting (that’s even boosted my morale at work) –...

                So, here I am quietly sitting awkwardly during some Division phone call. For some reason, a bunch of us are in this room while the Battalion Commander tracks a fight that’s already over. We go back from the field today. I guess the information could still be topical for him, but for the rest of us, it’s kind of just a customary thing to do because there’s so little else going on. Most of us could disappear from this room and nobody would bat an eye. But it’s warm in here, so staying here does have its perks. Regardless, it’s quite the image of what my NTC experience has been like. Lots of waiting with very little idea of what they want when it’s my turn to work.                I would have written last night. I’ll probably have an awkward time dating an article later, if I keep up this recent streak, because this article should have been yesterday. But I was awak...

            It’s my second-to-last night in the box here at NTC and things have decidedly quieted down. Our Section has been relegated to a glorified Uber, transferring groups of people that apparently mean more than us from one fancy, temperature-controlled command post to another at regular intervals for a “shift change.” Man, that word upsets me to type because that implies that they have, like, 12-hour shifts. We had this retention NCO with us in our days here in California before we got out to the box who would help us out with our tasks before he stayed back to work as part of the Section that communicates to the real world outside of our training. I like the guy, don’t get me wrong, but he missed an hour of his fireguard shift and so I had to take it in the then-heaterless command post instead of sleep, and when I ran into him a day or two later, he complained about having to work 12-hour shifts. Bitch, you’re only working twelve hours? I worked from...

                  It rained two nights ago. In the desert, it poured from the sky. An absolutely miserable time for everyone, as they sheltered themselves underneath tarps and quasi-weatherproof sleeping bag covers in the sub-35 degree weather. Fortuna blessed me, though, as I had been working the night shift, meaning my sleep schedule was in the middle of the day when it was warmer. In the command post where all the communication equipment laid, I coddled around my precious space heater (see my previous journal for more on that).  Well, until the people started trickling in.                Our Command Sergeant Major was the first to join me after all the Captains had finished their shifts and headed to bed. That is, if you count never quite leaving as joining. The poor Bermuda-born man situated himself in the middle of the room, somewhere between states of consciousne...

                   I’ve been out to the field three times now with this new unit, and every time, heaters have been a problem. It gets damn cold in the night when we’re on fireguard, sitting around the radio. Even here in the desert for our National Training Center rotation, these nights dip down into the 30s – a stark contrast to the pleasant ~60 degree daytime weather where the sun kindly kisses the skin covering our frigid bones.                So imagine my surprise when we not only bring a single heater for our entire staff, but on probably our third night here, it breaks. Just shuts right off, I guess. Which meant we were supposed to head into “the box”, our eight-day training excursion into the yonder of this base as large as Rhode Island, with no heater at all. What madness!              ...

 Short Story 9 – Hell Yeah  Finished on 11 November 2024               The bathroom door flung open, its handle punching the growing divot on the wall behind it. A man stumbled in and crashed a beer can on the counter as he grabbed the side of the sink. His body wavered as he watched the unsteady beer can rock beneath him in a sea of empties littering the counter. Would it fall over, his hazy mind wondered? Once the can managed to find its balance, he dropped his elbows down to the ledge. Something about this manoeuvre made his head spin again, so he closed his eyes and rested his forehead on his forearms. Without looking, he fumbled around the faucet until he managed to turn the water on. “Ugh,” he grunted. He knew the spins were temporary, so he held tight for about a minute as the soothing sound of the running water consoled him. When he opened his eyes, he noticed drops of blood on the grimy counter b...

"Hobart’s Heroes" Finished on 6 October 2024      Hobart was, by most accounts, a rather average man. He grew up in one of the many suburbs of an entry-level big city. With a rather forgettable reputation, he’d occasionally lurk in the background of high school parties before it got too late and he headed home, the red solo cup in his hand mostly there just to fit in. His parents, in a marriage that was neither good nor bad, supported him every once in a while as normal parents do, but never tried to inspire him enough to have anything but the same, average trajectory in life as they did.      At the same time, children are, by nature, more idealistic. Hobart’s mind ran free with possibilities, so he covered the walls of his room with all his favourite heroes – astronauts, superheroes, athletes, and even Army recruitment posters. But this was hardly unique, as most people had such untamed imaginations while growing up.      Perhaps th...

"To the Edge of the World" Finished on 12 December 2023              In his slumber, the man thought about how sour it turned out. Promises, unkept. Plans, broken. The blissful joy that she had regularly brought to his heart, not even an afterthought. All he could think about was their last argument before she left, poised in the rose-tinted bedroom of his settlement with a brilliant view of the crystal field that only reflected their lucid colour when the sun hit them at just the right angle twice each day, weather permitting. That once-treasured haven in his home had been tainted by countless arguments where he forwent discussing his deep-seated issues with their relationship to settle for peace because he didn’t want to lose her. If she had just given their relationship the same amount of effort she gave to herself, the memories wouldn’t have curled. Instead, all that time letting her into his settlement, into his bedroom, i...